Micky-K

They always say that love takes work.
It’s been a bumpy ride,
I know how hard you’ve tried.
Holding on just makes it worse.
It’s best to walk away,
If it’s our time to say goodbye...


God, that song gives me chills.....

Hey guys, I just wanted to give you all a huge update on what's been going on in my life within the last year that I've been AWOL from DeviantART. A lot has changed.. A LOT. I don't even know where to begin, as the life I had is completely different from the life I have now.

So, the biggest change in my life has got to have been my separation from Stephen. Yes, Stephen and I broke up back in January and it has changed my life completely in every way possible. Things between us hadn't been the same in a long time: we outgrew each other, the affection and romance was gone, his disinterest to get a job to help me with the rent and the bills became too stressful, and I eventually had enough of being the only one trying to make things work. Who we were 7 and a half years beforehand was not who we were now, and that meant we were no longer compatible for each other. The breakup was an overall civil affair, and neither of us were in the wrong - it was just a matter of life getting in the way and us having different paths in our lives now. Unfortunately, although the breakup in itself was civil, the same cannot be said for the aftermath. 

I tried to remain friends with Stephen, as I didn't want to lose him completely from my life. He was a huge part of my life and someone I cared deeply about, so losing him was not something I could take lightly. At first things went okay, but it became apparent that he had very negative, passive aggressive feelings towards me, which inevitably made me want to let him go. His feelings became worse and worse, leading to him sending me very malicious and threatening messages wishing death upon me - messages of which have left me shaken to the core, and very tempted to call the police. He was no longer the man I fell in love with - he became a very twisted and spiteful individual, and still despises me and wants me dead to this very day. However, as malicious and disturbing an individual he became, please do not start attacking him for this. Neither of us need our ex-relationship coming back to haunt us right now, so I'd appreciate if you don't go spamming his dA profile with hateful comments (If he even still uses it) As much as I appreciate every one of you who support me and want to help me, please know that I do not need anymore stress on top of what I have already endured from this entire ordeal, so please do not harass him.

After the breakup, and during the aggressive behaviour I was having to face (I couldn't block Stephen at this point because I needed to remain in contact because of our ties to our apartment) my depression and anxiety reached an all-time low. I ended up in a short rebound relationship with a close friend of mine I work with, Darren, which ended up in a toxic, painful breakup for the both of us. This caused me to be pushed over the edge, and I ended up having a mental breakdown in work. Terrified about the possibility of me committing suicide, my boss forced me to see my doctor and take time off work due to my highly unstable mentality at the time. During my time off work, while waiting on therapy being set up, I wasted away. In the space of one week, I lost over a stone in weight because I was sleeping constantly, not eating, and throwing up anything I attempted to eat. That was an incredibly dark time in my life and it completely changed me. I became a paranoid wreck, doubting what people say, overanalysing everything, worrying about hurting people etc. That's when three of my best friends in the whole world came to my aid and helped pull me out of the black hole I had been sucked into. I cannot possibly explain to you just how horrible that time in my life was, but all I can say is I am forever thankful that I am over that point in my life.

From about April onwards, I began my road to recovery. I discovered that I had become dependent on relationships to make me happy, to make me feel validated, which was the worst mindset to have. I decided to remain single for a while after the breakup with Darren to focus on myself. During this time, I had to deal with Darren sending me mixed messages that wreaked havoc on my heart, prolonging the heartbreak I had to live with since our breakup. Unfortunately there was not much I could do about this considering I had to see him every day in work (And still do) This continued until the end of May whenever I was introduced to a guy called Callum through a friend of mine. Callum was a great guy, and we hit it off really quick. The relationship only lasted a month and a half, but it was incredibly intense with him having me over all the time, talking to me all the time, talking about the future with me in it etc. I guess he realised just how fast we were going and he ended up freaking himself out, causing him to break it off. Things ended civilly - He took things as maturely as possible and we have remained good friends

I took more time out to myself, enjoying the single life, focusing on my career, working on a Payroll Management course to add to my CV, discovering new goals etc. By August, I was finally out of the depression pit and on the road to full recovery. Around mid-August, I came across a guy called Michael, who is exactly like me in every way personality/interest wise - so much so that it's uncanny... He's tall, thin, has brown hair, blue eyes, and is a little on the shy side. He's an IT guy, specialising in network and server programming, plays videogames, has an intense passion for music like myself, has also been in a short intense relationship like mine. He's supportive, understanding, funny, intelligent, and devilishly handsome...  He helped me recover and he and I have connected on such a deep level already despite only being together a month so far. Things are going well for us and I'm hoping that things last. I really like this guy.

After the breakup with Stephen, I moved back in with my parents and bought myself a shiny new metallic blue Ford Mondeo (Ford Fusion to you Americans!) It's a rare car over here in the UK as it was only released in the UK last year. It's my baby Next week, I will be moving out to live on my own in Lisburn. It's gonna be a scary step for me to take, but I feel like I need it as things aren't great back at home, which is only bringing me down the longer I live here. Michael is getting a lend of his work van and will be helping me move my stuff into my new house, then I'll be hosting a house party to celebrate! Although I'm nervous about living on my own for the first time, I am very excited to have a place I can call my own

I've also been writing up a bucket list of things I wanna do and places I wanna visit in the not too distant future, and I've also been studying psychology as a hobby. I'm considering taking up a degree in IT as it was something I used to want to do but never got the courage to try. I want to aim higher, earn more, and experience new things. I'm still not entirely over my anxiety, but I don't know if it's something I will ever fully overcome. I hope to be able to fully learn how to control it soon, however.

So yeah, that was a run-down of my year to date. Sorry for being so distant. I don't know if I'll get to upload content anymore as I don't really get the time. Any pictures I make are personal to my new life and the people in it, so I'd rather keep those pictures off the internet for now. Thank you all for reading to those of you who made it this far. Have a cookie! I hope you are all keeping well

[ ] You know how to make a pot of coffee. 
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar. 
[ ] You own a credit card. 
[x] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry. 
[x] You can vote in an election
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[ ] You think politics are interesting.
Total so far: 5

[ ] You show up for school/work late a lot
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[x] You've never gotten a detention.  
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday. 
[ ] You like to take walks by yourself. 
[x] You know what credibility means without looking it up. 
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week.
Total so far: 9

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.  
[x] When you say you're going to do something you usually do it. 
[ ] You can mow the lawn. (I've never needed to, and I don't have a garden myself as I live in an apartment )
[ ] You study even when you don't have to.
[x] You have hand washed a car before.
Total so far: 13

[x] You can spell experience without looking it up.  
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name.  
[x] Your favorite kind of food is take-out.
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.  (Hmmmm, this one is a tough one... Depends on the store. If it's a supermarket, so long as I stay away from the crisps aisle, I should be fine.... Clothing stores, so long as I stay away from the shoe collection.. which is never...)  
[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.  (Depends, I'm not overly knowledgeable on the subject.)  
[x] You can type pretty quickly.  (68 words per minute on average but have been recorded faster. I'd say that's pretty quick, but I'd have to be; I do it for a living! )  
Total so far: 18

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party. (...There's such a thing...? O.o)
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.  (I'm 23 in 2 weeks, renting my own place, engaged to my partner of 7 years, have a good job for a big company, have my own car, and am hopefully buying our own house in a few months' time, and yet I STILL don't get taken seriously )
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay. 
[x] You have been to the beach. (What has this got to do with your mental age?)
[x] You use the internet every day. 
[x] You have been outside 3 or more times a day.  (WTF?)
[ ] You make your bed in the morning. 


Your mental age is: 22.  

Hah, could it be any more exact?? Well that's a shock. I usually get like a mental age of 35 in most of these things!

Yes I'm still here. I just don't post any art cos I never have time to do any. I'll need to upload recent artwork I've managed to get the time to do.

Anyway, he's a quiz thingy to break the silence. Steal away if you wish.

I'm super sorry I haven't been updating this recently. I've literally no motivation to draw whatsoever these days. My skills are probably super rusty now.

Just another one of my journals to let you know that I'm not dead. I'm just hardly ever on this site anymore. 

So I'm still living in my apartment with my wonderful fiancé and still going strong with him. We'll be celebrating 6 years of our relationship soon; on July 15th to be exact. I can't believe I've known him for about 7 years or so now. It's insane.

I've also started a new job. I'm now working as a payroll administrator and I'm on a significantly higher salary. My salary makes me happy now I'm also being trained up to become a payroll controller, which will mean an even larger pay rise! This job not only pays better, but it's far more enjoyable. I get to interact with my colleagues more now. My old job was too isolated I've already made plenty of good friends who have welcomed me into their lives. It's so much more fun. We have dress down Friday every Friday, so we get to dander into work in our hoodies and jeans or whatever else we wanna wear. We also get treated to nights out and free food every month. On Friday, I will be going to a company meeting which involves an all-you-can-eat buffet. Everything is so much more laid back compared to my old job. I'm sooo much happier now.

I think that's the updates all I really have for you at the moment. In a nutshell, I'm lovin' life at the moment and things are looking up for me ^w^

Talk soon! xx

Hi guys,

Just to let you all know, I won't be online again for about 2 and a half weeks. I will be moving into the apartment with Steve on Thursday, and once we do, we will be without internet for a few weeks until the engineer comes out to set it up for us (There's already an active landline in the place, so I have no idea why we need an engineer in the first place, considering we could set up the hub ourselves but whatever...)

So with that being said, I will be unable to access the internet/go on Skype. I'm also out of mobile internet as well; I've got a week and a half left before my mobile contract refreshes for the new billing month, so I won't have any access to the internet whatsoever. How will I survive?

I shall see you all in about two weeks when my internet is set up.